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And No One Saw It Coming
August 13, 2014, Marci found Paul, her beloved husband of thirty-four years, dead by suicide on their backyard patio. No warning. No explanation. No final good-bye. Less than five years later, on March 15, 2019, the unthinkable and unimaginable happened. Michael, Marci's second husband of only eight months, was found dead by suicide. In this captivating book, Marci vulnerably shares her intimate journey from anger, hopelessness, and sorrow to acceptance and joy while offering hope to others facing similar situations today.Suicide is considered one of the most challenging types of loss to sustain. Your grief is complicated, messy, and haunting. In 2019, suicide was the tenth leading cause of death in the United States - an alarming fact and dangerous epidemic. With dogged determination, Marci uses her grief and sets out to expose the ill-conceived and biased attitudes toward mental illnesses standing in the way and keeping many individuals battling depression and anxiety from seeking help, particularly men. In the grip of unrelenting pain, Marci courageously meets grief head-on. With grit and candid openness, she opens the door into her personal story of lost love, betrayal, abandonment, shattered dreams, unanswered questions, judgements, and harmful social stigma. Vividly, Marci reveals the catastrophic impact of a suicide death on loved ones left behind. From the first page, her riveting, original, and profoundly moving open letter to mental illness exposes the insidious way it torments and holds captive its victims under the guise of silence. And why no one could see the end coming. Twice.
211 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 6, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
January 3, 2022
A memoir about losing two husbands to suicide. Her first husband, Paul, and she were married for almost 40 years, seemingly very happy, when she found him dead by suicide. She writes about the shock and grief of that and then eventually moving on to a new relationship with Michael. After only 8 months of marriage, Mike also took his own life. I didn't really like the writing style, but it was hard not to feel for Marci and I appreciated her honesty about her grief as well as her discussions about the causes of suicide. I appreciated that she discussed suicide being more the result of an illness, rather than a weakness in character. Blaming someone for suicide is like blaming someone with cancer for succumbing to an infection due to a weakened immune system; someone weakened by mental health, stress, a number of other things is more susceptible to suicide and it doesn't necessarily matter that other people might be hurt by it. Someone else's pain isn't going to stop a person from dying of suicide any more than it would a physical disease. I liked that Marci made this clear. 3 stars.
January 21, 2022
I can't imagine the horror of losing one spouse to suicide, but the thought of two is unthinkable. Marci Glidden Savage survived the suicide of her husband of more than 30 years. A few years later, she lost her second husband to suicide also. This book, though, does not dwell on the loss of her husbands, but on her learning to live and love again after those losses. While I thought this book would be more about the events that happened in the author's life, instead she shared with us the journey of living with grief. She describes Grief as a new companion in her life and details learning to live with that new addition to her life. As she writes, "When Grief moves in, everything changes." I can't say I enjoyed this book. I don't think you can enjoy reading about the most painful experiences in a person's life. But I appreciate her sharing this journey with us. It was heart-breaking and hopeful at the same time.
July 5, 2023
As a widow whose husband died of depression, this is spot on.
This book was very reassuring to me as I decided from the get go to treat his death as a death from the illness depression and NOT a guilty secret.
I wish more people got the LEAN IN bit as it becomes more and more important as time passes.
Having girl and GUY friends who loved him has been important.
My grown children have been amazing.
My closest friends are awesome.
This book for me, was an affirmation that I will survive and eventually thrive.
This book was very reassuring to me as I decided from the get go to treat his death as a death from the illness depression and NOT a guilty secret.
I wish more people got the LEAN IN bit as it becomes more and more important as time passes.
Having girl and GUY friends who loved him has been important.
My grown children have been amazing.
My closest friends are awesome.
This book for me, was an affirmation that I will survive and eventually thrive.
February 20, 2022
This is a truly heartbreaking story of losing two husbands to suicide. Having lost a family member to suicide, I picked this one up because I find that grieving a death by suicide is a unique grief. This book had many facets - it documented Savage's grief process, gave ideas for how to help (and avoid hurting) a loved one who has lost someone to suicide, and shared statistics surrounding suicide. One of the really special touches was the person letter to readers that Savage included.
January 5, 2022
Heartbreaking story. Can't imagine the pain author and family going thru.
Thanks to author, publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free, it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.
Thanks to author, publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free, it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.
June 26, 2023
This is a devastatingly honest account of a woman who loses not just one, but two husbands to suicide. Suicide is such a remarkably painful thing for loved ones to endure, and to go through it twice is just unthinkable. Marci's account is raw, emotive, honest, and courageous. This is a heavy topic but she does it with sensitivity for her readers. The only reason I marked it three stars is because the writing style is lacking, and for such a sensitive topic, I felt the writing needed to be of a much higher quality, to really do it justice. I am grateful for Marcia's honesty.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews